Six Things Google Remembers About My Parenting That I’d Almost Forgotten

Illustration by Abigail Gray Swartz

Excerpt from this article:

Google remembers. Over those six years (and even before they fully began) Google was my parenting manual and my “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” That means that if I want to know what I was worried about in those first weeks, months and years, I have only to open my search history. Thus, the Internet version of “This Is Your Life:”

Searches about eating, peeing and pooping dominated in the first year or two of my children’s lives: “what’s in formula”; “toddler is picky eater”; “can a pull-up hold poop”; “potty training in three days” (Ha!)…

Sleep was also a major issue…

Some things never change. Our challenges with picky eating have continued, leading to a (fruitless) search for “children’s multivitamins only cherry.” Sleep issues also persist, albeit in more sophisticated forms. A search for “night fears” was somewhat addressed by a related one for “Dora night light.” Perhaps the most persistent problem is my children’s general, er, demeanor. On a particularly bad day recently, I asked Google: “Why are my kids so annoying?”

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