Horrifying Email From Ex-Girlfriend Titled ‘A Few Things’

Kicking the work week off with an excerpt from a funny article from the always hilarious, yet spot-on spoof publication, “The Onion”:

His heart pounding in fear as he stared at the unread message in his inbox, area man Joe Dubbin reportedly checked Gmail at 11 p.m. Sunday night to discover a horrifying email from his ex-girlfriend titled simply “A few things.” “Oh, God,” Dubbin said under his breath as he worked up the nerve to move his cursor over the wholly unexpected message, a film of cold sweat materializing on his brow as he scanned the previewed line of text that read “Just so you know” followed by an ellipsis.